INSITEVIEW- - tom shugart's weblog

Friday, May 24, 2002

Being vs. Becoming, or Playing Houdini With My Problems

I'm finishing up some chores. Breathing a sigh of relief, and saying to myself, "well, that's one less thing hanging over me." At the same moment, I notice the tension and angst that's pervading my being, obviating any satisfaction of completion that I could otherwise be enjoying.

Disgusted, I ask myself, "are we condemned to be preoccupied continually with the quality of Becoming?"

"Not necessarily," the other side of me replies. "Instead of asking, 'what's to become of me?,' which is a sort of default question, I can override it with a different one: 'how am I being?' "

As I sit down with coffee and the day's snail mail, I run across this in a newsletter from The Sedona Associates:
"All problems are memories."

I realize that, in my present state, I've just been given the perfect proposition to process. I'm going to bounce it around and see what I come up with.

The assertion is that the problem that I thought I had a moment ago is, in actuality, a memory. That was then. This is now. Am I willing to release any desire to believe that the problem still exists?

That's a tough one. It seems like the essence of denial to say that something that's clearly a difficulty no longer exists. It would be--except that it's the wrong way of looking at it. Maybe there's another view available--say, as a question of quality of Being.

Whatever situation or dynamic that I had labeled a problem does indeed still exist. However, I can change the label at will. The handle is whatever I say that it is--for me. The situation may still be a problem for my wife or someone else, but, for me, it can exist as a situation or a dynamic. Period.

"Problem" lives as an interpretation. The power to interpret is my domain. Period. What gets in the way of seeing it that way is the siren song of right/wrong. We're mortified at the prospect of being wrong. Suppose that it's intellectually mistaken to hold this subject in the way that I'm proposing?

Surrendering concern for being right is a challenge of the first magnitude. But is being "right" worth it--if it stands in the way of my quality of Being?

Quality of Being means that right now, in this moment, there are no "problems." Situations, yes. Problems, no. There are memories of problems. I remember that a minute ago, I had the belief that I had this or that particular problem. Now, in this moment, I choose to release that. Now, in this moment, I no longer have this belief. The "problem" now exists as memory, not current fact.

A veritable transubstantiation, if you will. An obvious boost for quality of Being. The good news about quality of Being is that it's a moment-by-moment proposition.

OK. Great. But the question is begged--what happens to the unresolved situation, formerly held as a problem? Nothing. It still requires action of some sort. No change there.

What's changed is the quality of experience of the "me" that chooses to address the resolution,. Which "me" is more likely to be effective in the approach? The one enjoying some quality of Being, or the one mired in concern for the outcome--trapped in Becoming--questioning his worth because of this unresolved shit hanging over him?


  • Reminds me of the Zen Buddhist observation, "At this very moment, what is not perfect?"

    By Blogger Stu Denenberg, at 5:31 PM  

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